I, Woman
It’s the month of March and, apparently, it’s time for us all to celebrate the successful woman. Specifically, this is defined as women who are leaders of industry or some other category of wealth and respectability. Truly I say, bravo to these women who have worked so hard to reach their goals and find their way to the top of the success food chain. They managed to successfully recognize and pursue their aspirations – it is their personal victory.
Dare I praise a woman’s life that is seemingly the opposite? One that the above definition would not applaud?
I, Woman
It’s about a woman with a strong and independent spirit. No, she’s not a CEO of a company large or small. She has no talent for marketing/sales because she is just straight up too honest – manipulating human weakness isn’t her stock and trade. And she doesn’t have a masters degree in science or any certificates hanging on a wall. She’s been a working girl since the age of twelve and has shouldered responsibility beyond her years for longer than she can remember. A woman with a gritty intelligence that would bewilder and amuse any academic due to its unschooled synaptic responses produced by her unique real world experience.
Motherhood is not something she can add to her list of accomplishments either – unless being a mother to your own mother has any merit in addition to providing care to those in need when it’s needed. Having grown up in a rural area she has lived off grid for the better part of 20 years. She can drive a tractor and command the most strong willed of horses. Her innately defiant disposition gives her the confidence to masterfully handle a large truck with a trailer attached and park it with ease. Anyone that has done this knows how much practice and patience this requires.
Her life skills (aka resume) provide a survival smorgasbord that she should be proud of – expert equestrian, cattle driver, gardener, farm animal custodian, weapons maven, finance manager, homemaker, photographer, quilter, fence builder, and devoted wife.
A Better Life
She owns several acres of property but struggles to make ends meet. The government classifies her as living in “poverty” to which she responds with a wry “whatever” sideways grin. A woman acutely aware that there is no such thing as true freedom and autonomy of ones person on the material market place of man made rules and regulations; this truth plays out each time she reports a better year of earnings. The response to this productive, honest labor is a large tax bill that keeps her from attaining even a modicum of financial success and stability. The price of self employment and independence – welcome to the Neo Gilded Age of American prosperity through working class wealth redistribution… but I digress.
Never daunted by the tasks that face her she stands with her husband over a felled tree. Each wielding a chainsaw and standing “side by side” as they begin their work. As the tree limbs fall in quick rhythm it becomes a symbol of their mutual respect and admiration. Together, they have spent many years cultivating this symbiotic union despite their losses and hardships.
At the end of a long day she finds her solace sitting in her homemade bench swing watching the sunset and its glorious array of colors and texture. As she ponders her challenges and how best to overcome them she listens to the language of God’s other creations that join her there. They surround her with a gentle sound that quiets her mind. This is the buzz she gets from her life… it’s a simple, challenging, frustrating, liberating existence and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Though her life path was certainly influenced by the circumstances of her birth – it’s the life she ultimately chose and I respect that. She doesn’t need to be told that she could have done better or had a better life if only she had an engineering degree. We are all of us engineers of our own lives. “If else” statements and deprecated ideas litter our minds as we write new code to keep up with FIFO processing that never ceases. We are not robots – we are human and not one of us the same.
Measure of Success
As human beings, let’s acknowledge that we don’t all have the drive or desire to lead a fortune 500 company, be an engineer, an astronaut, the president, or a person of influence. If that is the temperament you are born with you will surely succeed no matter your circumstances or your gender(*). Let those to whom these ideals have meaning freely celebrate their accomplishments. As for me, it doesn’t resonate in my life. I don’t know these people and feel no attachment to their success.
Let each find their contentedness as they see fit without the pretentious anchor of expectations. Let’s not define ourselves solely by race, sex, religion, and politics… it’s degrading and humiliating and serves no good end. We can begin respecting each other and respecting ourselves when we abandon the inculcated notion that we are solely defined by the check boxes on a form.
Let’s celebrate diversity of aspirations. The best thing you can do for yourself is stop listening to all the noise. Stop comparing yourself to others and dancing to their tune. Realize your own gifts – great or small – and nurture them. Respect the journey of another but don’t let it be the ruler by which you measure your own success in this life.
*This statement is not inclusive of cultural bias defects.
Very inspiring read. The last paragraph sums it up very nicely. I shall read it again and again to remind myself of my unique existence. Love!
Dearest Meeta! Thank you for reading… I write in the moment – what’s on my heart. Glad it inspired :).
Thank you.
You are welcome :).
Well said !! I might not be able to gracefully wrangle a wild horse , or manage a long haul truck etc … But I can “wrangle” a classroom of 15 five year olds , work my forty hours , manage a household , and spend precious time
with people that I truly care about .
We all have different but equally important roles as women in this crazy world , Thank you for taking the time to write those beautiful words as a tribute to all of us !
Exactly! And you are welcome! It sounds like you have an interesting story to tell – thanks so much for commenting and sharing a snapshot of your life.