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Trading out a life of convention for a life of creativity, autonomy, and curiosity. Visit our Blog Tag Cloud page for posts by related topic.
Shadow Lands
It’s been a few weeks since my last post. I swore to myself that I was going to do a post a week but life does make it difficult. Writing is my only outlet. The only corner of my existence where the fresh air of creativity breathes a little life back into the care-giving journey I have chosen. There are so many things I desire but cannot have and as I watch those in my life keep moving about within their relative freedom it is difficult to resist entering the dark places in my mind.
What can one do to banish such emotional darts? Write! And so, here I sit, back in the writer’s chair, and I find myself amused with the creative outcome. The story below came about as a means to introduce a new resource page to the website. It is definitely a doorway into the dark room of my developing thoughts. Snapshots clipped to a string in no particular order slowly revealing their truths to impress upon the viewer to look deeper into the images that emerge. Some will seem incomprehensible – too out of focus or underdeveloped – not yet ready to see the light of day. Read More →
Meat, Lies, and Cardiogate
As a child my diet was atrocious. I was raised on the Standard American Diet. It was packaged, processed, “fast”, and loaded with sugar and vegetable oils in all their inglorious forms. I rarely ate any type of meat. My twenty-something year old body was already showing some serious signs of deficiency but because of the resiliency of youth I was able to keep going in a seemingly healthy state. After all, I was lean, had a sharp mind and lots of energy. Those surface indicators of health allowed me to keep kicking the can down the road until the road abruptly ended. There I was, standing on the edge of a chasm I could no longer cross.
I had to find a bridge to health or I would most certainly go down hill until I hit bottom. My father had many idiopathic ailments and became addicted to pain pills. It was difficult to watch him deteriorate over the years – his drug induced exile took him away from us long before he was gone – and I feared my quality of life would be much like his until I succumbed as he did. Read More →
Of Mice and Chicks
Pangur Bán. An odd name for an odd cat. He was an unplanned adoption. I entered the hardware supply store in search of plants, pots, and soil and left with a beautiful white cat with magical eyes of blue and green. “It’s Pangur Bán! It’s Pangur Bán!”. Those words tumbled from my mouth with an unabashed child-like enthusiasm. My husband could not say no. As far as I was concerned he was a special cat and he needed me… and I him.
Pangur Bán (White Pangur) is the name of a 9th century Irish Gaelic poem written by an unknown monk. He records a playful observation of his life in which he compares his own work with that of his cat’s work of hunting and the happiness each derives from their own pursuits. His pursuit of knowledge and Pangur’s of mice. Read More →
I’m Sorry
[Ding] I’m here.
I grab my purse, tell Mom I’ll be back in about an hour, and run out the door. It’s ridiculous how excited I get when I have an opportunity to leave the house – to go grocery shopping no less. Not having a car makes me 100% dependent on others. The lack of independence gnaws at me. My whole life is one consecutive holding pattern with far too many days of confinement.
I open the truck door and hop in with a big smile reminiscent of a dog going on a car ride. The radio is blasting and I’m a bit surprised by this. My sister is checking her phone when I shout “Hi!” and she gives me a pitiful look. Her ear is clogged and painful. She turns down the volume and explains her predicament. Sadly, for some, it seems illness arrives on a monthly schedule these days like some other thing that men fear and women endure. Read More →
Oatmeal for the Soul
I hear her feet softly shuffle towards my door. I close my eyes and pretend I am still asleep even though I’ve been awake in dreamy contemplation for the last hour. My thoughts often float to my husband as the cold of the morning chills me and I allow myself a moment of warm reflection on the life I put on hold before flipping my internal switch to autopilot.
She slowly opens the door and asks if I’m awake. “Can you help me get dressed?”. Some mornings, she decides to let me rest and waits in the living room in silence. I feel her anxious helplessness stick to me like a dense fog. Each morning, each day, it’s the same. I look at the icon of St. Anthony I have hanging on the wall facing my bed and will myself to start another day. Read More →
Third Incarnation
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for? So goes the once popular 1980s song that popped into my head just now. Lately, my mind plugs in song lyrics for every situation I find myself in like some sort of AI directing and guiding my feelings to the appropriate material. What’s the frequency, Kenneth?
Seriously, two years into being my mom’s caregiver and I’m losing my sense of self only to find it again in the late evening hours when the house is dark, quiet, and still. I stay up way too late relishing the tiny slice of time I have to relax without interruption.
One Way Ticket
This is a story that many have told. It touches every life eventually. Circumstances may differ but the result is always the same. There is the struggle that precedes the leaving. This is the first chapter in our race to find peace within the dying.
I’ve been quite busy the last few months caring for my mother.
With each passing day I struggle a bit more with our reality. She’s not getting any better. She sits deeply nested within herself and the high walls she has built over the years. Ears closed and eyes fixed on Family Feud as the days pass without clear meaning or memory. A deep well of loss and fear swirl upon the surface of her face. Those eyes that once had the power to see straight into me can now only gaze in wide-eyed confusion at a life that is drifting away.
Formidable Beauty
Today, I will write what it is on my heart. Where I currently reside there is a biting chill in the air as we experience our first snowfall of the season. This chill is not unfamiliar to me as its presence arrived long before winter crept in to blanket us with its formidable beauty. Society has been shivering in fear of one form or another for nearly two years now…
As Christmas draws near we all find ourselves in a time fraught with uncertainty and weariness. It rubs up against us like coarse sand paper until we are raw and bleeding. I see it everywhere – these wounds that go untreated and unnoticed as we shuffle past one another in a desperate attempt to navigate this strange landscape. We are told it is “this” when we know it is not “this” but “that”. Lies have infected our minds as we aid the enemy in its war against us. We dare not speak any truths in public for the spell that was cast seems to have turned all words upside down and inside out. Read More →
Truth-Tees
No, I’m not going to prattle on about Bill Gates. Well, maybe just a little bit. It’s just that smug mug, and what it represents to me, just happens to work as a good Truth-Tees segue.
I do wonder why he has been so quiet lately. Well, he is a farmer now. His anointed role as King of Corona would naturally lead to a massive purchase of farmland. It doesn’t seem strange at all, for, what is a king without the exertion of total control over the food supply?
Remember that silly little interview gaffe when he described the vaccine as the “final solution” and the only way to end the pandemic? Or that adorable excited smirk on his face as he described how his philanthropic organization jabs African children with “genetically modified organisms” and “we’re injecting them into little kids arms – shoot ’em right into the vein”. What a selfless man, giving away millions and making billions in return. The rotten eugenics fruit doesn’t fall too far from the family tree. Read More →
Six Steps
Six feet of space. Six degrees of separation. Six steps to communism. Are we digging our own graves?
This video was recorded impromptu at a Idaho Freedom Rally. Please listen to this woman’s story as she recounts her life under Communism, her harrowing escape, and her dire warning to American’s and freedom loving people everywhere – this is not about a virus. We are foolishly acquiescing to communism/technocracy/medical apartheid and abandoning our freedoms under the guise of covidism and climate alarmism. Read More →
